Change – it’s inevitable!
We are reminded by Eckhart Tolle that “Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in you life for something new to emerge.” I recognize this as truth, real wisdom, but I must admit there have been times when I was not thrilled with the changes that were unfolding. And I suspect that the same goes for almost everyone.
It goes without saying that as life unfolds, change is ever present. Day changes to night. Spring ends and summer begins. School semesters start and wind down. We begin jobs and leave them; launch careers and then change them. We start relationships and some wane over time. Each of us ages, slowly at first or so it seems, but then years accumulate into decades and decades mount into lifetimes. Even on the most basic level – change is everywhere and there is absolutely no escaping it- change is inevitable!
Many of us fear change, resist change, and yes occasionally refuse to change. Most of us have developed effective ways of coping with change – well at least most of the time. It goes without saying that the resistance to change is in direct proportion to what is in the process of changing and how important it is in our lives. The most obvious example is when we lose someone we love, someone who has assumed an important role and place in our lives. We understand in this context that we grieve the loss of a loved one. But how many of us understand that when we are faced with other important changes, sorrow is likely if not inevitable. But we also know that the sadness dissipates over time and life returns to ‘normal’.
But take a minute, think back and remember a very big change that you have survived – yes I mean survived. Most of us would agree that not only did we endure but eventually we began to thrive. It may have taken awhile and the change may not have been easy but as Eckhart says, the change made space for something new to emerge.
Change is so ever present it is surprising that we haven’t gotten more accepting of it, learned to anticipate and prepare for it, or even learned to revel that it is ‘on the way’. But if we are truthful, all of this rarely happens when something big changes. Many of us instead wallow in sadness unable at least for a while to comprehend that something new and likely better is on the horizon. We get stuck and sometimes fear that things will never get better.
We are like the caterpillar who thinks her world is coming to an end only to delight in the discovery that she has awoken as a beautiful butterfly! I don’t know anyone who hasn’t thought their world was coming to an end as they faced a major life change – divorce, death, job termination, or financial calamity! The only difference amongst us is how many times we have experienced major life change and upheaval. But like the caterpillar, our transformation very often is precursor to something better, more enriching, more deeply satisfying and gratifying. Too bad we keep forgetting this.
So the next time your world is turned upside down and you are faced with accepting that change is inevitable remember the advice of Joseph Campbell, who famously reminded us that “we must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
